Thursday, November 6, 2008

Dear God...From Dog

Just wanted to share with you this cute little email from my friend.

TO: GOD
FROM: THE DOG

Dear God: Is it on purpose our names are the same, only reversed?

Dear God: Why do humans smell the flowers, but seldom, if ever, smell one another?

Dear God: When we get to heaven, can we sit on your couch? Or is it still the same old story?

Dear God: Why are there cars named after the jaguar, the cou gar, the mus tang, the colt, the stingray, and the rabbit, but not ONE named for a Dog? How often do you see a cougar riding around? We do love a nice ride! Would it be so hard to rename the 'Chrysler Eagle' to 'Chrysler Beagle'? (This one is my favorite!)

Dear God: If a Dog barks his head off in the forest and no human hears him, is he still a bad Dog?

Dear God: We Dogs can understand human verbal instructions, hand signals, whistles, horns, clickers, beepers, scent ID's, electromagnetic energy fields, and Frisbee flight paths. What do humans understand?

Dear God: More meatballs, less spaghetti, please.

Dear God: Are there mailmen in Heaven? If there are , will I have to apologize?

Dear God: Let me give you a list of just some of the things I must remember to be a good Dog.
1. I will not eat the cats' food before they eat it or after they throw it up.
2. I will not roll on dead seagulls, fish, crabs, etc., just because I like the way they smell.
3. The Litter Box is not a cookie jar.
4.The sofa is not a "face towel".
5. The garbage collector is not stealing our stuff..
6. I will not play tug-of-war with Dad's underwear when he's on the toilet.
7. Sticking my nose into someone's crotch is an unacceptable way of saying 'hello'.
8. I don't need to suddenly stand straight up when I'm under the coffee table .
9. I must shake the rainwater out of my fur before entering the house - not after.
10. I will not come in from outside and immediately drag my butt.
11. I will not sit in the middle of the living room and lick my crotch.
12. The cat is not a 'squeaky toy' so when I play with him and he makes that noise, it's usually not a good thing.

P.S. Dear God: When I get to Heaven may I have my testicles back?

'Until one has loved an animal, part of their soul remains unawakened!

7 comments:

CrossView said...

Ohmy! Some of those made me laugh out loud! =D

Kathryn and Ari said...

That's really hilarious--and very apt, too! That letter absolutely could have been written by Ari (except for the testicle part!).

Anonymous said...

Very nice! I laughed out loud!

Kodak the Eskie said...

Thanks for stopping by my blog! You have a great blog. I love you heading pictures!

Hugs, Kodak

Anonymous said...

Oh those are SO CUTE! As a dog lover I LOVE that! Thanks for stopping by the other day! And your dogs are absolutely adorable!

RazorFamilyFarms.com said...

This was such a great post! Funny and sweet!

Blessings!
Lacy

Susan said...

It's great to see the world from a dog's point of view sometimes!